FCKbeingFAT THE Blog

  • "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong!"

    "Are you coming up?" I said breathlessly to my date. After a long evening of flirting, talking, and dining in between, we were parked in front of my house passionately kissing. Since it was technically our 4th date, and the sexual tension between us had became too much for us to ignore, I decided it was finally time to explore each other physically. "Are you sure?" he said, his eyes lustfully gazing over my body. I looked at him, leaned in, kissed him, and softly replied, "Yesssss, I'm very sure, come on.." As we walked towards the front door of my house, I could damn near feel holes being burned thru the fabric of my tight dress from his intense stare. "Damn girl, you are so sexy.. I can't wait to get you naked," he said as I turned the key to my front door. I could barely shut it before he began kissing and grabbing all over my body. "Wait a minute, I need to go to the bathroom!" I yelled in a panicked tone as he reached for the zipper on my dress. The reason for my sudden moment of anxiety? Ummm, maybe it was because I was wearing 2 very tight and restricting body shapers. I couldn't dare transform from sexy and curvaceous to a busted can of biscuits within a matter of seconds! That would definitely kill the mood.

    How many times has this happened to you? Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with making sure you look your very best, I can't think of anything more embarrassing than having to destroy the illusion of an hourglass figure that a body shaper created in front of your new partner. There are just some things that take a certain level of familiarity before you feel comfortable enough to do them in front of your mate. And although I'm sure the average man wouldn't let something as insignificant as a body shaper and a few extra pounds stop him from wanting to "do the grown-up" with you, no woman likes having her flaws put on display so suddenly. Shit, do you know how long it takes for a man to see me with my "Mixtape Meek Mill" braids prior to a weave?

    Despite the fact that most men would still want you physically behind closed doors; body shapers and the women that wear them has become a long running joke, frequently seen in the form of memes on social network sites, one liners on national television shows, and comedy routines recited by famous comedians. The theme of these jokes always seems to be that women that wear them are living a lie and selling a dream.

    Are we selling a dream to the opposite sex and living a lie when we choose to wear these contraptions? Yes, we are selling a dream.. But name one person who hasn't! You are supposed to appear as appealing as possible to a potential partner; they don't need to know about the mustache you get waxed every 2 weeks on your first date. So you put your best foot forward until they are left with no choice but to fall in love with the real you.. Flaws and all.

    I see no problem with selling (realistic) dreams; however I do have an issue with living a lie. I hate wearing all of that restricting shit, as do most women I know. After I lost a significant amount of weight and I didn't have to wear body shapers with every outfit, I felt like I was released from spandex prison! When I was bigger, it was as much apart of my outfit as a bra. It was incomprehensible to NOT HAVE to wear them. I was lying to myself, thinking that it was ok to rely on them. If I would've continued lying to myself, trying to convince myself that I NEEDED them, I wouldn't get to frequently experience the freedom that I do. Honeyyyyy, it's nothing like getting right to it after a hot date with your man and not having to say, "Hold up boo, let me unwrap myself real quick!" You get to keep the mood right and your stomach tight when you stop relying on shapers and just get in shape. Take my word for it, I be knowing! Haha.

    Mell B
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